


A Surprise Every Time

by Meatball42



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bechdel Test Pass, Betrayal, Consensual Mind Control, Dubious Ethics, Flirting, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mutual Aid, Post-Bahrain (Agents of SHIELD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, Unconventional Format, had to lighten it up somehow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-05 01:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14032743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42
Summary: SHIELD deals with extreme problems. Sometimes, they need extreme solutions, even for everyday things like therapy.





	A Surprise Every Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flipflop_diva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/gifts).



> HONORED READERS: Please do not take anything that happens in this story as an indication of how group therapy ought to go, or the effect it actually has on group members. There’s enough real theory and practice sprinkled throughout to hopefully make it seem realistic, but there is a thick veneer of Marvel Science™ laid on top. Additionally, there’s some handwaving going on with the timelines, because I wanted these characters at these moments.
> 
> Seriously serious thanks to Morbane, who pointed out foundational flaws in my premise after reading this fic on short notice. I've never had a beta tear my fic down so effectively and I've never gotten better concrit (In a good way! <3 )
> 
> Italics represents someone speaking in an aside, grumbling under their breath, or doing unrealistic fake coughing ;)

_Tuesday, August 18_

Wilson: Sir, if I’m understanding this all correctly, you’re saying that this procedure has never been tested, and you want me to put several volatile personalities who have experienced severe traumas into it, while lying to them.

Fury: No. I’m saying that this procedure has been proven physically safe-

Wilson: -But not mentally or emotionally-

Fury: -and I want you to guide some of my top agents, who, yeah, have been through some difficult times-

Wilson: -and have refused professional care-

Fury: -so that they will let themselves heal. Mr. Wilson, I hear your objections. But this plan has been developed by some of the best specializing psychiatrists in the world- men and women you've already met with. They have already discussed with you why this technology and these techniques are the best option for these people.

Wilson: It's a risk. It could work out, it could work out really well. But it could go wrong.

Fury: The program is heavily weighted to encourage your patients to share their emotions, and make them feel more secure and trusting. I understand these are are vital to your work.

Wilson: Non-synthetic trust and safety. I don't let clients come to group drunk, just because they might be more willing to share that way.

Fury: Their higher thinking will not be impaired. And you'll have the chance to fully vet and prepare all the participants... The technology is unusual, I'll give you that. But it's safe. And it's our best option.

Wilson: ...I'll agree to give it a shot. But I want the authority to pull the plug if I think we're doing more harm than good.

Fury: I hired you for this job because I'm assured you're the best man for it. If you say we need to rethink, that's what we'll do.

Wilson: And- I can’t facilitate a group if the participants think I’m one of them.

Fury: ...I read your MSW thesis. You argued- very convincingly- that a facilitator who shares the struggles of his group members will run a tighter ship than an outsider- especially among a military population.

Wilson: That conclusion was only meant to apply to some very specific groups, for one. For two, these people are not military for the most part. And for three, part of facilitating a group is being equals. I cannot be equal with these people if I’m encouraging them to open up and I’m lying to them about what I know about them and what we’re all doing there. I’m here as a personal favor to Colonel Rhodes, but this is already an experimental procedure. I agree it might be necessary in this case, but I do not accept that this kind of white lie, in this circumstance, could be therapeutic. 

Fury: These are some of my top agents. They're used to the occasional misdirection for the greater good. I know what they can take. 

Wilson: And I know what they need to get back to a hundred percent. How many of your psychiatrists could say that to you? The ones who can’t even get Captain Rogers to stay in the room for an hour? The ones who can’t get Tony Stark in the room? Who can’t get Akela Amador to admit she has feelings, or Barton to admit he has nightmares, or Melinda May to admit anything’s wrong at all? I’ve already given a lot of ground to your experts about this- Band-Aid thing, but some lines aren’t meant to be crossed. They'll get what the sign the informed consent paperwork for, and nothing else.

Fury: ...You’re made your point, Mr. Wilson. I’ll give you some rope. But be aware, if you hang these people along with you-

Wilson: I was a Captain America fan growing up, Director. If I fuck this up, nothing you do to me could feel worse than what I’ll do to myself.

Fury: See, I take things like that as a challenge.

 

_Monday, August 31_

Rogers: I’m not too familiar with the concept.

Wilson: You’re not alone in that. Group therapy used to be more popular a few decades ago, but the last few years it’s fallen out of style. But some places- like my VA- use it, and we see great benefits for the soldiers who come to us… I can see you still have your doubts.

Rogers: I guess I just don’t see how… talking about- any of this- is supposed to help.

Wilson: A lot of men don’t. A lot of soldiers don’t. I gotta bully a lot of guys into participating, you know? But you’ll get it, and then you’ll the saying ‘Thank you Mr. Wilson.’

Rogers: Oh yeah? You think?

Wilson: Hey, I’m the expert. I know.

Rogers: Alright Mr. Wilson. I’ll give you a shot.

Wilson: I appreciate it. So the way we’ll start- sorry, did medical already explain how the group’s going to be facilitated?

Rogers: They did. I don’t know how much of it I understood. But, tell me about- your part, first.

Wilson: You sure? I want you to be as comfortable as you can be.

Rogers: I’ll save the headache for later, if you don’t mind.

Wilson: Ha, alright. So, the basic concept of group therapy is that talking about your thoughts, your feelings, your struggle, with others who share experiences and can understand what you’ve gone through, is good for you, and for the other people. I know this wasn’t popular where you’re coming from, but talking about trauma is the best way to help your brain understand and process it. I see a lot of men and women with a lot of problems that stem from what they’ve been through. It’s a darkness that gets inside of you, and people let it fester like a sickness. Getting it out is the best way to heal. You got something to say, Steve?

Rogers: ...Lotta men… lotta husbands and fathers that I saw, who’d come back from the Great War… you’re saying if somebody’d put ‘em in a circle and had ‘em hold hands, they’d…

Wilson: ...It’s not simple. And it’s not easy, especially when everyone around you’s telling you that you shouldn’t feel the things you feel, or that something’s wrong with you when, actually, what you’re experiencing are real, physical symptoms. My job gets complicated a lot by the way society thinks about the soldiers I treat.

Rogers: I got us off track.

Wilson: Nah, questions are good. Gives me more time to hear the sound of my own voice. Okay. There’s gonna be six of us in there. You and me and two other men, and two women. I want to make sure that’s something you’re comfortable with.

Rogers: I know women can be soldiers.

Wilson: My bad. Here I am talking about the VA. This group isn’t all soldiers, Steve. It’s mostly SHIELD agents. But you’re right, women are completely capable of performing those jobs. I just wanted to make sure you’re going to feel comfortable in a mixed group. A lot of people prefer single-gender groups. There’s no problem with it.

Rogers: I don’t mind it.

Wilson: Okay. The first day, I’m expecting a bit of confusion. The technology we’re using is going to be a little disconcerting, and this is not a group of people that’s going to be comfortable without control over their surroundings. We’re gonna ride that out, talk through it, and then hopefully make some introductions.

Rogers: Hopefully?

Wilson: Not everyone’s as polite as you, Steve.

Rogers: Thanks.

Wilson: The first time we meet is just about getting everyone comfortable. Ideally, we’ll be able to talk a bit about why we’re all here. I’d be seriously impressed if we could get to talking about a group goal on the first day.

Rogers: Isn’t the goal… to be able to serve again?

Wilson: That's what went on my hiring paperwork, yeah. But that might not be some people’s individual goal, so if we want to find something everyone has in common, that we can all aim for, we’re gonna have to get creative.

Rogers: I… This just seems… What good will it do, to talk about… how I got here, with people who can’t possibly understand, and don’t even want the same things out of this that I do.

Wilson: It’s true you’re kind of a special case, Steve. Nobody else has had to get used to living in the future like you have. But I think you’ll be surprised by how much of what these people have to say means something to you. And I think they’ll empathize with you more than you think, too… And honestly? A lot of times, people put in more effort. They’re more insightful. They’re kinder, when it comes to helping other people, than helping themselves. I think that’s something you might understand? Yeah? Helping other people when helping yourself seems like too much? Or not something you deserve?

Rogers: I thought you weren’t being my shrink.

Wilson: They said shrink back in the day?!

Rogers: A woman I work with told me to use that with you.

Wilson: I can see I’ll have to up my game. And yeah, I’m not trying to ‘shrink’ you, that was my bad. All I’m here to do today is explain how this group therapy works so you won’t be caught off guard once we start, and some of the benefits. It’s not a miracle cure. Nothing’s going to be fixed on the first day. But I’ve been doing this a long time, and I’m pretty confident you’re going to see better results than you did talking to Dr. Halbert.

Rogers: _That’s not saying much._

Wilson: Hey man. I know this isn’t anything you’re used to. I’m gonna be right in there with you. I swear, whatever you’re imagining, it’s not gonna be that bad.

Rogers: Stark’s gonna be right there, too. I don’t know… how much I’ll be able to get out, when I know he’s listening.

Wilson: I get it. But hey. Turns out, the future’s got a fix for that, too.

 

_Wednesday, September 2_

Stark: Woah. Woah, hey, what the-

May: _Quiet._

Wilson: Everybody, relax. My name is Sam, and I’m going to explain what’s going on here.

Stark: I know what’s going on here. This is a Binarily-Augmented Neuro-Directional Applicator.

Barton: That’s as bad as SHIELD.

Stark: I invented it.

Barton: And you called it Band-Aid?

Stark: It’s BAND-App, thank you very much. It’s artificial reality. This room we’re seeing, it’s not real. These chairs definitely aren't real, I haven't sat on a cheap metal folding chair in years.

Wilson: The chairs are real. They didn’t want to overload the system.

Stark: Overlo- Are we all really in the same room? Is this a concurrent immersion?

Barton: _You know it’s real because in a fantasy they wouldn’t be cheap as fu-_

Rogers: What’s artificial real-

May: Let the man talk!

Wilson: Thank you. All of you consented to participate in this program, first of all. If you focus, you’ll be able to remember signing about fifteen different release forms earlier today. The walls in that room were a forest green, if that helps.

Barton: ...Yeah, I remember that. But you already admitted the stuff we’re seeing isn’t real. How do we know you’re not messing with our memories, too?

Stark: It doesn’t work like that. The immersive reality presents a set of parameters, but if you push hard enough you can break through them. Although, if I adjusted the neural connections to focus on memory centers-

Barton: And how do we know you’re not a plant, too?

Stark: Excuse me, there is no reason I would care enough about any of you to try and trick you. I don’t even know why I’m here.

Wilson: I do, and I’d love to explain.

Stark: Okay, alright, what’s stopping you?

Wilson: All five of you work for or with SHIELD. All of you have recently experienced a significant trauma or series of traumas. Traditional one-on-one therapy has not helped any of you. What we’re all doing here is a form of group therapy. It’s a difficult situation, because some of you know of each other, some of you work together, and some of you have big egos. You all agreed to wear the BAND-Apps during these sessions so we can proceed with therapy and avoid some amount of conflict. You all can remember your own experiences crystal clear, but any knowledge or memories of the others is hidden, while you wear these headbands. Right out of Star Trek, huh?

Stark: That was the idea.

Amador: If we have access to mind-altering technology, why not remove the memories causing our trauma?

Stark: It doesn’t work like that. The brain is way too complicated, I’m just playing- anything I’ve made that interacts with the brain is just playing on the surface.

Wilson: Maybe someday in the future that’ll be an option. But until then, we have talk therapy.

May: One-on-one therapy didn’t do anything for me because I don’t need it. I chose to switch from fieldwork to a desk assignment, and my colleagues decide there’s something wrong with me.

Stark: Exactly! You destroy one seaside mansion and everyone acts like you’re suicidal!

Rogers: A seaside mansion?

Stark: I have two more, it’s not a big deal.

Wilson: Participation in this therapy is mandatory to return to full duties.

May: So ‘consented to the program’ was a figure of speech.

Wilson: Believe me, I did my best to make this as opt-in as possible. You all had the option of continuing to work with an individual therapist until you were cleared for duties. You all chose this, so for you, it must have been the better option.

Amador: What will it take for you to clear us?

Wilson: That’s something we can discuss as a group. Generally, I think most of you want to get to work, but I also know some of you have set up additional goals in individual therapy, and we’ll work together to accomplish those.

Barton: I want everyone I work with to stop staring at me like I’m a goddamn bomb about to go off. I don’t think talking’s gonna cure that, doc.

Wilson: Okay, that’s somewhere to start-

Barton: _Hell, why did I say anything?_

Wilson: I’m not a doctor. My name is Sam, I have a Master’s degree in Social Work with a concentration in group work. I work at a VA Center in Washington D.C. as a group facilitator, usually for groups with intense PTSD or other post-service traumas. I served in the Air Force for eight years-

Stark: You do kumbaya circles that whole time?

Wilson: I was in pararescue for six of those years.

Stark: ...Huh.

Rogers: What’s pararescue?

Amador: They’re the angels.

Barton: Medics with wings. Badass, smart, daredevils. Jump outta planes into firefights, bandage people up right there on the field, lift ‘em out.

Wilson: And now I try to save people from their demons. I loved my job. I loved every second of it, even the parts that were complete shit. Two tours, worst I ever got was some nightmares. And then, one night, my wingman and I were doing a standard op, same as we had a hundred times before that. And he got shot down right in front of me. Like I was up there just to watch… And it screwed up everything. I didn’t care about what I was doing anymore. I couldn’t see the good in anything. And when I got back stateside, right when you’d think it would be easy? The nightmares started up, real bad. Flashbacks. I could feel the sand in my teeth. I lashed out at people around me, even the people who cared for me. And that was when I knew it was time to get help… I’m not saying I’ve been through what each of you has been through, I know I haven’t. But I’ve been here, sitting in one of these chairs, feeling like if I opened my mouth I’d crack open like an egg. I’ve been where you’re sitting and I’m telling you that the only way out is through. You can sit on your fear, your memories, the pain, the guilt. Maybe you can even fake it, convince yourself and everyone around you that you’re feeling better. But it doesn’t go away. It’ll haunt you. You gotta lance it like an infection.

Rogers: ...I have nightmares. So much that I can't sleep sometimes. And I… my best friend. Sometimes I can hear him like he’s standing right beside me. But he’s been gone for… a long time.

Wilson: What’s your name, brother?

Rogers: Steve.

Wilson: Hi Steve.

Rogers: Hi Sam.

Wilson: Anybody else want to introduce themselves?

Stark: ...I can’t stand the silence. I’m Tony, and I’m an alcoholic.

Wilson: Hi Tony.

Barton: Hi Tony. Oh, are we not doing that?

Wilson: We can if you want.

Barton: Shit’s sake, it was a joke.

Amador: I’m Akela. I was held prisoner in a cage by a terrorist organization for four years. Then, I was operated on to put a bomb inside my head, that electrocuted me unless I followed the instructions it projected onto my field of vision. They made me spy and steal for them for years, until SHIELD got wind of me and brought me in. SHIELD took the bomb out of me, and now they think that if I sit and cry on an overstuffed couch they can send me out to die better this time.

Barton: ...Hi Akela.

Amador: Shut up Barton.

Barton: Wait- I didn’t introduce myself.

Stark: Don’t think about it. Some reflexes will come through the conditioning, but unless you push it, the programming will remain intact.

Amador: I guess we know each other, if I tell you to shut up enough for it to become reflex.

Barton: Yeah, uh. I’m a sniper.

Amador: Ha. Maybe you’re the one who shot me down, so they could nullify the bomb. Maybe I have you to thank.

Barton: Maybe. I’ve got no idea.

Rogers: Are we all military?

Stark: I’m not.

May: I’m not.

Barton: I’m not anymore.

Amador: Not anymore.

Stark: Are you?

Rogers: ...I guess I’m not anymore either.

Wilson: ...You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, but it would be useful to have names.

May: May.

Barton: I’m Clint. I… fuck, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve done group therapy before, it’s a crock of shit. Did I really hate the shrink that much?

Wilson: You should be able to remember that. I don’t think trying would damage the program.

Stark: What are you looking at me for? Don’t you think I’m a plant?

Rogers: Let it go.

Stark: Who died and put you in charge?

Rogers: You’re comfortable with this technology. Some of us aren’t.

Stark: ...You can’t damage the program unless you focus hard on remembering what you know about one of the other patients. And if you actually know anything. Pick someone you’ve never met, you’re good. Pick your spouse, it’ll eject you. Give you a hell of a hangover, too.

Barton: One of them could be my wife?

Amador: No.

May: No.

Barton: ...Hey man- fuck you!

Stark: I can’t- help it- you walked right into that one!

Wilson: I can tell you that no one in this group is married to any other participant.

May: So you do know all about us.

Wilson: Yeah. Originally, the plan was that the group would be self-directed, that I’d just act as a participant. I refused to do that. I’m not going to lie to people I’m trying to help, especially when, frankly, some of you have pretty intense trust issues.

Barton: I remember! Nat told me she’d kick my ass if I didn’t give this a shot.

Stark: Is Nat your wife?

Barton: My partner. She’s… I hate group, but I’m here because she got scared. And she’s not easy to scare.

May: ...My husband… It’s not working. I guess this was a last ditch.

Barton: ...I got… there’s this thing. This- alien, space rock, and if somebody uses it on you. They control you. Completely. And. I attacked my friends. I fought Nat. I told him how to kill people who depend on me. I killed civilians. And I can’t… every time I wake up, there’s a second where I’m still- where I think- that he’s still- got me. I can’t shake it. I look over my shoulder because I feel like he’s watching me. And he’s goddamned magic so who fucking knows, maybe he is… Whatta you got for that, doc? There a pill for that? Should I do a dream journal?

Wilson: Dream journals work for some people. But you’ve already said more on the subject here than you did in regular therapy.

Barton: ...I tried to shoot her.

Amador: Nat?

Barton: I was on the range, and she came in, I didn’t hear her. I didn’t stop to check, I just turned and let fly. And I don’t miss.

Rogers: Is she alright?

Barton: She wouldn’t let some nobody like me take her down. But she shouldn’t have to watch herself around me. So what, doc, I spill my guts in here, that how it works?

Wilson: We’re not an audience, Clint. And I’m not your psychiatrist. This is a group, made of people who have some issues in common. You can talk as much or as little as you want. You listen. That’s how it works. We’ve all been through some of the worst life can throw at a person. But we all survived. Where there’s life, there’s hope. We can, if we try, affect our own lives. One of the guys I worked with in D.C. said it’s like climbing out of wet concrete. You pull and you pull and maybe you only get out an inch at a time, but it’s better than sitting and waiting until you got nowhere to go.

Stark: ...I got kidnapped. And nearly killed, tortured for a while, got a battery stuck in my chest that I had to fix, because god forbid terrorists who live in caves manage to rig an electromagnet with a bit of finesse, but… I didn’t care about any of that. Most of it was old news. I got kidnapped for the first time when I was four. Shot when I was twenty-two. Non-consensual body modification, that was new, but like I said, I fixed it. It’s mine now, I own it. But the guy who organized it all was. My friend. Practically my godfather. And he told them to kill me, and when they didn’t, he tried to do it himself. I had to kill him, to protect myself and my assistant.

Amador: _Bastard._

Stark: Oh but that’s not the part that keeps me up at night. He was my business partner, too, and for years, under my nose, he’d been aiding enemies of the United States. Terrorists. Selling them weapons I made to send them to hell. I don’t even know how many guns and missiles with my name on them are getting shot at our soldiers. He tried to kill me? Whatever. He skipped the line, a bit rude, but he always did have boundary issues. But he- he made me a killer. He turned me into one of them.

Rogers: That’s not your fault.

Stark: Uh, yeah, it is. If I’d kept my finger on the pulse-

Rogers: He made his choices. You didn’t make them for him.

Stark: I don’t think you understand. I’m the CEO. I’m the chairman of the board, I’m the primary shareholder. It’s my company that made every bullet in those guns. Every one of those weapons has my name on them! And I saw them in crates in Afghanistan, I saw insurgents eating their lunch and playing card games on top of shipping crates I signed off on.

Rogers: You were betrayed by someone you should have been able to trust with everything. You’re not a mind-reader. No one could expect you to know-

Stark: I expect it!

Rogers: You have to trust your team. You count on them.

Stark: Christ, you military types- I’m not a soldier.

Rogers: No, but you outfit them, don’t you? You’re an important part of the war effort.

Stark: _You sound like a goddamn propaganda reel._

Rogers: You trusted that the members of your supply chain were doing their patriotic duty.

Stark: No one in my business believes in patriotic duty. We pay it lip service, but that’s all it is, it’s dress-up for the photo-ops.

Rogers: I haven’t been listening a man who doesn’t care about his country.

May: He’s right. You’re not trained in espionage. If your partner was able to move that much contraband, he was experienced, connected. He knew what he was doing. And he had your trust, probably through your parents, if he was a godfather?

Stark: _Not my actual godfather._

May: Maybe you should’ve kept a better eye on your business, but was that how the responsibilities were divvied up? ...You were doing your part. He didn’t do his.

Wilson: I don’t know if the RPG that took down my friend was one of yours. But I do know that the weapons that saved my life, and the lives of the airmen and soldiers I saved- those were Starktech.

Rogers: Don’t borrow trouble. There’s enough to go around already.

Amador: He committed treason. You killed him. That’s something to be proud of.

May: ...I shot a child… It was a good shooting. She was enhanced. I watched her kill a half a dozen men. When I killed her, I saved a whole team of SHIELD agents… I don’t want to work in the field anymore. It’s not that I can’t do it. I don’t want to. My superiors, don’t seem to understand that. They want me back in the field. I am refusing. I’m not- I don’t have nightmares. I don’t have emotional triggers. I just don’t want to be in the field.

Amador: ...You’re fooling yourself.

May: Excuse me?

Barton: Doc said, right? You can convince yourself it’s not a big deal, but it won’t go away.

May: You need to decide if you want to admire him or make fun of him, I’m getting whiplash.

Amador: You need to decide if you want to have a husband.

May: Watch it.

Amador: You’re the one who said that’s why you’re here. I don’t think your husband’s going to leave you because you got a safer job. Is that it?

May: ...I’m angry. At myself. At SHIELD. It comes out at him, sometimes. We’ve been arguing. But- I’ve been this way before, after other missions. I can handle it.

Rogers: So what makes this time different?

Wilson: ...It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.

Barton: There’s tissues over here.

Stark: They’re there cause you looked for them. She can just imagine the tears away, that’s how it works here.

Rogers: Sometimes the old way is better.

Stark: You know what doesn’t work? Food. BAND-App doesn’t touch the taste or smell centers, so I could imagine up the perfect cheeseburger and I couldn’t even smell it.

Rogers: I think this is pretty amazing already.

Stark: Yeah?

Rogers: Yeah.

Stark: ...Well. You’re right.

Rogers: Oh, thanks. For letting me know. Glad I’ve got the seal of approval.

Stark: I am the expert here.

Rogers: Are you? I wouldn’t have known.

Amador: Can you two imagine up your own room?

Barton: I know Sam said no one’s each others’ spouse, but-

Wilson: To the best of my knowledge, which is based on extensive files compiled by the best espionage agent SHIELD has to offer, no one in this room is romantically involved with anyone else.

Barton: A-ah-ch- _Yet!_

Stark: You’re not fooling anyone.

Barton: _Sexual-_ A-hem. _Tension!_

Rogers: I don’t… do that.

Stark: Have sexual tension? Yeah, doesn’t really go with that butter-wouldn’t-melt vibe.

Rogers: With men.

Amador: Is it a problem?

Rogers: No, I- Other people can do whatever makes them happy, I just- I’m not like that.

Barton: _Protest too much!_

Rogers: You want a cough drop, Barton?

Stark: Kinda sensitive there, Spangles?

Wilson: Okay, let’s bring it back.

May: That’s how friends interact, Clint. Normal people, with their friends.

Barton: We’re SHIELD. Like we’d know anything about normal.

Stark: I am proud to say I am not and never have been SHIELD.

Amador: I’m not surprised.

May: Hill would rip her hair out.

Barton: Oh my God, we all know Hill!

Stark: She could… rip my hair out, anytime she wanted? Does that work?

Rogers: Not the way you want it to.

Barton: Holy shit, she’d tear you to shreds.

Stark: But what a way to go.

Amador: I’d pay to see that.

May: Mm-hmm.

Rogers: Never seems to be anything on the television anyway.

Wilson: I hate to break this up, but we’re just about out of time.

Amador: Seems like a lot of trouble to go through for an hour long session.

Stark: Yeah, time works a bit differently in here.

Rogers: How differently?

Stark: Probably been about three hours on the outside. Synching up this many brains isn’t exactly simple.

Wilson: It has been three hours. They’re going to start waking us up any minute.

Rogers: Can I say something?

Wilson: Sure.

Rogers: I… I don’t know if they’ll believe me.

Amador: We’re sitting in an imaginary room, talking about mind-control and magic. Go ahead, Steve.

Stark: Also? Probably, the tech’s been modified to make us open to suggestion. Like a really great trip.

May: _I can’t believe I consented to this._

Rogers: I… A few months ago, for me, it was 1944.

Stark: Time travel?! Goddammit Fury, why do I never get called in for the good stuff!

Rogers: It wasn’t like that, it… I- I left everything behind. Or- I didn’t expect to wake up… I never imagined I would wake up- here. And the whole time I’ve been here, it’s been like a dream. A nightmare. Except when I sleep, I dream, and you can’t dream while you’re dreaming. So this is real. But it hasn’t felt like it. Until now.

Amador: Leave it to a virtual reality.

Stark: This technology is so far beyond virtual reality-

Rogers: I guess what I wanted to say, is. This is the first real conversation I’ve had. People talk to my uniform, or my rank, not to me.

May: Sounds like you’ve been hanging out with the wrong sort of people.

Rogers: It’s more widespread than you might think.

Barton: How about this: I swear that, when I wake up, I won’t give a shit about who you are.

Stark: “Oh, be honest, Clint...if Steve came walking up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do?”

May: This is ridiculous.

Barton: I’d say hey and move on. Cause I’m not a dick.

Amador: I’d say I’d invite you to the commissary, but I don’t dislike you that much.

Rogers: Thanks for that.

Wilson: Well, we’re about to find out.

\- - - 

Barton: I thought you said there’s be a hangover.

Stark: Only if you leave the program earl-

Rogers: ...Stark.

Stark: Cap.

Amador: Clint?

Barton: Akela?! You’re not- They said you were dead!

Amador: I… I thought I was. I wished I was.

Barton: I can’t believe it.

May: _...They’re not very touchy-feely individuals._

Wilson: _They were friends once, weren’t they?_

May: _Years ago. Years before she was captured, even. Maybe there is something to this Band-Aid stuff after all._

Wilson: _It’s BAND-App, you know._

May: I like Band-Aid better.

Stark: Do you know how hard it is to come up with the acronyms for these things? Don’t give me more work, May, I’ve got enough on my plate.

Rogers: She’s just having fun.

Stark: Like you’d know anything about it. I invented it, it’s mine, I name it. You got a problem with it, you can shove it up your ass.

Rogers: ...Okay, Tony.

Stark: ...Okay, what? I didn’t mean actually shove it up your ass, what are you-

Rogers: You made it, you get to name it. Fine.

Barton: Wow, I haven’t seen you guys agree on anything in, like, ever? Maybe you know what you’re doing after all, doc.

Stark: Of course he does. Rhodey wouldn’t make me go to therapy with anyone but the best.

Rogers: You know Sam?

Stark: Only that he’s trying to steal my best friend from me, and that it’s not going to work.

Wilson: We’re collaborating, as part of a program running through my job, to better transition active duty soldiers to civilian life. It’s work. Also? People are allowed to have other friends, Tony.

Stark: Not in my world.

Wison: I can tell Colonel Rhodes I can’t work with him anymore, if you think it constitutes a conflict of interest. But I know he’s really enjoying the project, and I’d hate to take him away from something he enjoys.

Amador: _Okay, he’s alright._

Barton: _I know, I love him, he’s my new favorite shrink._

Stark: Don’t think I don’t see what you did there. Pepper is the master of the passive-aggressive guilting. You’re a rank amateur, Wilson.

Wilson: I’ll see you in three days, Tony.

Stark: Yeah, whatever. So, Steve, wanna go share a malt in the cafeteria?

Rogers: I don’t think they serve those here.

Stark: Just when I think you’ve found your snark, you go and- hey!

May: Looks like we found a wit that can dance around Tony Stark.

Stark: That’s- that-

Rogers: ...Bye everyone.

Barton: See you on Saturday, Steve.

May: Goodbye.

Wilson: Catch you later.

May: I’m gonna head out as well.

Amador: We’re heading to Skid’s, if you want to join.

Barton: We are?

Amador: If it’s still there.

Barton: Uh, yeah. It is. Lemme go text Natasha?

Amador: Sure.

May: What are you up to?

Amador: You don’t want to be in the field? Fine. You’ll live longer. But not all of your colleagues are idiots, and having a desk job doesn’t mean you can’t have friends.

May: ...I’ve missed you.

Amador: You might be the only one.

May: No. I’m not.

Barton: Nat’s on her way. Doc, you wanna come with?

Wilson: Not that I don’t dig Skid’s, but I got a lot of paperwork to do from all this. Whole new type of therapy, y’know?

May: Sure. Appreciate it. Doc.

Wilson: Don’t try and make that a thing.

Amador: I think it might be a thing.

Barton: Once Stark picks it up, you’ve got no chance.

Wilson: I guess gotta hope he doesn’t then, huh.

May: You might get lucky. See you on Saturday.

Wilson: I'll be here.


End file.
